inner space

Looking like some interstellar image from deep space

Seeing the scans of my retinas illuminated on the screen

As my aging eyes are examined for emerging defects

Dilated pupils to let the light shine inside my eyes.

My left eye has a large dark spot in the center

That floats around mostly unseen as I look past it

Because clear vision is a construct of my brain

That has learned to fill in what the eye omits.

It has been that way for 12 years now

Not getting any worse thank goodness

And so far there’s no sign of cataracts

More good news making me a lucky one.

On this day as I sit with eyes wide open

Feeling blind being unable to see inside my head

Needing the optometrist to tell me what is there

The thought of losing my eyesight troubles me.

Being able to see is so important so necessary

I do not want to think about living with failing eyes

Such a long list of essential things I could not do

Contending with a diminished prospect.

But even with my eyes shut I can see some things

Traveling easily through a kind of inner space

As long as my brain keeps functioning

Assembling a vision of the world for me.

Maniticut Sonoma September 2, 2018

album

McFaul monarchs August 29, 2018

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birds of happiness

Going out the doorway I catch sight of a bird

Marvelous black-and-white plumage ruffling

Calling in undertones I do not recognize

Perched so close I stop in my tracks, amazed.

Never in my life have I seen this unknown species

That would make for a special photograph

Capturing the moment to study and identify

If only I had my camera in this dream.

Going back inside to search for what is not there

Each room further from the bird left behind

Realizing the bird will be gone when I return

Flown away like time passing through.

Thinking about that strange bird appearing in my dream

As some metaphor holding meaning for me

As elusive as memories of events when we sleep

Dissolved into daylight as soon as we wake.

Three nights later I dream of yet another unknown bird

Looking closely at it as if to take a photographic memory

Noting the russet brown plumage with a white crown cap

Wanting to remember the exquisite detail in the morning.

These avian apparitions delight me with their appearance

Being a person who walks with binoculars at the ready

Carrying my camera hoping to catch a brief glimpse of motion

To record a moment of life among the light and shadows.

Such a welcome gift to receive such dream images

Though I have no expectation it will happen again

These poetical lifetime birds portend happiness

The way I see it, being on the cusp of a transition.